From Pepperdine, Ready to Step Onto the PhD Track, Until...

Meet Kristine Lackey...  Since childhood, Kristine has been called a "seeker with an opinion". She always felt different as if she were merely witnessing life happen around her...always wanting to be a participant but never really knowing how. She would constantly study and challenge authority with the desire that someone would finally give her the "missing link".

She has studied with a multitude of teachers, researched an endless amount of self-help modalities and traveled in order to discover the "secret" to living. She found herself with a Masters Degree in Psychology from Pepperdine University and was ready to step onto the PhD track when she was introduced to The Journey.

Shortly there after she woke up to a very simple reality... the key was right there inside of her the entire time and the only thing preventing her from seeing it was HER! And most importantly, she realized that she was powerful beyond belief and there had never been anything missing in the first place. Today she continues to travel through North America, with her husband Skip, sharing with others how true freedom, wisdom, connection, health and grace can be found within.

Post-Cleanse: A Message to You From Kristine

I have heard the quote..."The gift is in the giving" so many times throughout my life and I am just now realizing how I have always thought of the "gift" as something tangible, like a birthday present. Well, from being a part of The Journey New Beginnings Cleanse calls, I have realized that the "gift" can show up in so many more ways then I have ever imagined.

To begin with, the inception of these calls came about from a deep desire for us (The Journey Team) to connect with those who have been calling and emailing from all over the world. We often have people say things like..."You sound like a brunette, I bet you're tall, do you always spend so much time with everyone, I wonder if we will ever meet" and so on. So we decided that we would introduce ourselves by sharing individually what inspires us about this work.

We all sat back and shared the topics which ring true to our hearts and our desire to incorporate this passion with a Journey process. The idea of doing a 8 day progressive nightly program was then born. Only one problem...I am the idea person, the delegator, the background support, the busy mom, the "I need my down time" person....which, by the way are ALL very legitimate and realistic roles that I play in my very busy and fulfilling life...and come to find out...I hide behind them frequently! With that said, I had no intention of being one of the hosts for these calls...until...

A few days had passed and the nights and topics were picked...except for one. We all sat in a circle and Skip, my husband and partner, turned and said with a smirk, "Why don't you do it?!" He had to ask in front of our entire office staff. How could I say NO? I had to look good like I was radiantly confident, positively self assured and thrilled to be a part of such a dynamic team building endeavor. So, of course I said "Yes" while secretly wanting to kick his behind!

Now, I knew I was committed, there was no place to go and nothing to say. So, I gallantly asked myself..."What is my passion?" And the word Relationships appeared. There was my topic and I left it at that until the very day that I was to participate.

That was when I sat, welcomed stillness, meditated and asked..."What's here?" It truly is astonishing to me what I can discover when I just STOP everything that I am doing. Which historically is not the easiest thing to do since that is how I have survived my entire life...by staying busy, distracted, and uncommitted to most everything...then nothing can go wrong and no one gets hurt.

I sat with my original question and another arose..."Why relationships?" It is not like I am a relationship "guru", It is not as if I have always wanted to speak about relationships. So, why?

Three significant relationships rose to my consciousness. That with my mother, husband and daughter. They are my everything and I am here to say that without The Journey my everything would be nothing. That blatant awareness brought so much gratitude for all that I had learned about ME over the last 6 years, and all that I had let go of. I realized, in that moment, that the most profound relationship that I could speak about was the one that I have cultivated with me. The one that has changed and effected every single person in my family and my life. The one that has brought me tremendous joy, transformation and freedom.

I spoke that night from that place, emphasizing one's relationship with self. I felt open, confident, and fully surrendered to my commitment and desire to share. And just as I was to begin a short guided process, welcoming all of the listeners to tune into themselves, my darling husband said," Kristine, you are going to have to speak louder...it is tough to hear you".

The very loud scream, that was in my head was so deafening that I went silent for what felt like an eternity. And what I discovered in the midst of that scream was a very strong desire to tell my husband where to go, to take over the call himself and for me to just walk away. So, in that moment, I welcomed all of the feelings that were buried within that silence; those of humiliation, disappointment, fear and anger. I allowed them to burn through me and when they were done I was left with a sense of relief, calm and an openness to move forward. The rest of the call, I felt, went just beautifully.

I allowed myself to sit in silence when that call was complete. I welcomed any awarenesses to arise from all that had taken place and what I realized was...that this initial reaction to get angry at another person and to stop what I was wanting to do for ME has ALWAYS been a behavior that has kept me back from fulfilling almost everything I have ever wanted and has infiltrated every relationship I have ever had. And what has been the driving force of this behavior was the desire not to feel the anger, humiliation, disappointment and fear what was nobody else's other then mine.

In shock, I asked myself, "With all of the work that I have done on myself...how can this doozy of a behavior and/or self saboteur still be here?" And then the answer came, "Who cares?!" Wow...that felt great! Because the truth is...I don't care why or how anymore, I just care that I can catch it, feel it, let it go and NOW move on with my life. So, I simply said to myself..."Thank you for showing me this today. I am sorry that you have felt that you have had to behave this way in order to protect yourself. I forgive myself for any pain that was caused. And I love ME for being brave enough to be true to ME and for not allowing this to prevent me from following through with an important part of my mission." I then set the intention to do a Journey process which later allowed me to go in, find the stored cellular memory, clear it out and, again, move on in a healthier, stronger, more productive and freer way.

Since completing these calls I feel so much more love inside. And as you can imagine, love attracts love which brings connection, intimacy, growth, happiness and the confidence to stand in my own power, passions and desires in all areas of my life. I feel so much more present to my family, grateful for all that we have, and have become dynamically more productive at work then I have been in years.

Wow...What unexpected gifts I have received and so many thanks to offer! Thank You to The Journey for this precious tool; Thank YOU for holding the space for these calls to occur; Thank you to my wonderful husband for "making" participate in this call, for continually pushing my buttons and for unconditionally loving just as I am; And thank you to ME for allowing such profound awarenesses and growth to continually flourish!